Bringing a taste of the tropics to East London

Source: Repeating Islands

I’m not one of those girls who lives by tradition or abides by all of the so called ‘rules’, so when it came down to choosing a theme and colour scheme for the wedding I knew I didn’t want to go down the usual wedding route of muted colours, golds, silvers and creams. I knew that I wanted to do something a little bit different, something that will stand out, be memorable and also have a reflection on us as a couple. 

The first thought that came to mind was our personalities, lifestyles and things that are important to us. My train of thought kept going back to the word family. As I have mentioned in previous posts family plays a big part in both mine and my fiancés lives. A lot of things we do revolves around family. As you know I come from a Jamaican background and him from a large Nigerian family, both enriched with culture and traditions. I think it would be a nice idea to somehow reflect both of our lively, tropical, colourful cultures in our wedding day because after all we wouldn’t be who we are as people without our family and culture.
 

Wedding update: 10 months to go

Time waits for no man (or woman) and the countdown to the big day is getting closer and closer, with only 10 months to go. However, I am proud to say that I haven’t been resting on my laurels. Despite my notable blog absence (apologies for that), I have been working my butt off trying to get as much done as I can before the year end and a number of key wedding tasks  have been crossed off the list. Every spare minute I have when my little Bambini is asleep or playing contently alone, I have been emailing and calling suppliers, researching costs, price comparing, making mood boards, planning DIY projects and designing my own wedding stationery. Yep, I have been a very busy bee!

I have so much to fill you in on, it’s easier if I break it all down into individual posts. So I am aiming to give you the complete lowdown over the next week or so to bring you all up to speed with my colour scheme, theme, dress hunt….. amongst other things. I’ll also try and update you all on the little madam, who is now 4 ½ months old. 

Time certainly does fly by!

Strictly business from now on!

I hope the following is a valuable lesson to other brides to be. I had a bit of a disaster with a photographer. Whilst I was pregnant, at home and bored, I started doing my research into suppliers. As I ventured away from the traditional websites and into the world of blogging I began to find suppliers that I might not have seen on a site like Confetti or Hitched (although they are great for other things). I came across a photographer (who shall remain nameless) on a lifestyle blog that I read regularly, who's work was absolutely stunning. His website displayed an array of creatively styled imagery, which blew me away. I was sold from the first glance at his site and blog and I didn't even know the cost! I made contact immediately to request the price structure and find out more. I was pleased to find out that he came from my hometown - coincidence number one. I thought it was nice to have someone from my neck of the woods and it made me think of having my pre-wedding shoot in Birmingham instead of in London, where the wedding will be.

I was 100% sure I wanted him to do my wedding and pre-wedding shoot. Convincing my mum was easy. One look at his website and she was on-board too. Coincidence number two - she realised that she actually knows him. The guy was a friend of the family so we got on the phone ASAP to introduce ourselves. I was ecstatic, he knew who I was now and had pencilled us into his diary for my date. I wasn't able to meet him and discuss details as I was very heavily pregnant with the twins but he assured me that I was noted in his diary and if anyone else expressed any interest in the day he would let me know so I can secure the booking. So I felt pretty sure that he would be my photographer and the date was provisionally 'secure' until I had the twins. As I was going through a lot at the time (see post - Praying for a miracle), coupled with hospital visits once or twice every week, I was exhausted and had not yet switched into wedding planning mode, but I thought at least this was secure - or he would let me know if another couple wanted to book my date.

A number of weeks had passed, the twins had arrived, and I was adjusting to life as a new Mum. I started to think about the wedding more and one of my first actions was to meet with him and pay him so money to formally secure the date. So I tried to get in contact with him to no avail.

Wedding Update: 2 down but a lot more to go!

With less than 12 months to go before my wedding, I had no set date, no church, no reception venue, STILL, NO NOTHING. Progress was not a friend of mine and showed no interest in becoming one. My spare time around the little Madam was spent desperately trying to find a venue nice enough and big enough to host 'My big fat Nigerian wedding'! I spoke to friends, my sister in laws, I asked questions on forums but the same places kept coming up. I did visit a few, some better than the others but some disastrous!

First, my fiancé and I went to visit the City Pavillion in Romford. From the outside it doesn't look like a wedding venue at all. Just looks like a leisure centre or something but inside the hall was perfect. Definitely big enough, facilities were OK, the main room had a bit of wow factor with the funky chandeliers and there was even a separate room that we could use for a pre-drinks reception. All was good. I thought we had found the one until it got down to the nitty gritty.

My poor blog

So my plan for writing more blog posts has fallen completely flat on it's face. My little madam is taking up more of time than I expected. Who knew motherhood was so demanding and full on!! I'm literally sapped of all my energy just looking after the diva from day to day so my poor blog doesnt even get a look in!

Oh well, she is my everything right now and my priority. As she gets older i know I will have more time to do other things but until then my spare moments (when she's asleep), I spend eating quickly, running around the house doing the washing or a quick spring clean and if I'm really lucky I might get the chance to scour the internet or make a few wedding related calls *sigh*.

At the monent I'm spending some time at my Mum's house so while she is entertaining her Granddaughter, I have a few minutes to conjure up a few posts. Hopefully a few more to come....
 

Nappy nightmares!

Source: Google images

Ok now seriously.....! Do they all do this or is it just this Little Madam who is making a game out of weeing and pooing in a nappy thats been on for about 2 seconds. Or better yet weeing and pooing on Mummy!! She seems to do it strategically. She'll wait until the exact moment I move the dirty nappy away. I think its safe and all clear but she lets rip and either gets my hand, messes up the changing mat or on the new nappy I've just put on her. It must be the feeling of being free or the bit of air that gets to her that makes her just want to poo/wee at that particular moment. Who knows?!

It was funny at first, we were killing ourselves laughing at her wee fountains, which we thought only boys did! But now we're going through nappies like no-bodies business. We had a record 3 nappies wasted in one change recently. I might have to consider reusable ones if this continues. Nappies are not cheap and at this rate we will be spending a fortune on them!

Anyone else have this with their little ones?

Note to self: Remember this story when shes older. Definitely a good embarassing
story to tell at an opportune moment hehehe!

Mama-hood so far…

Source: www.essence.com

Mama-hood (as opposed to motherhood) has been a whirlwind so far but so rewarding, so exciting and so scary at the same time. Time is literally flying by. My little princess is now 4 weeks old and has become 'The Boss' in our household. Everything now revolves around her! She cries when she wants something and my fiancé and I are at her beck and call lol. Feeding every 3 hours means I attempt to squeeze my to-dos around her. It’s funny, I was the girl who loved her sleep and had to have at least 7-8 hours sleep per night in order to function anywhere near 100%! That ideal was dramatically thrown out of the window from day one! Having to wake up every 2-3 hours means a good night’s sleep is a distant memory!

Bittersweet - I'm back!!!

Apologies for the lengthy absence. The last month or so has been a rollercoaster, which is just starting to level out. So much has happened. I probably should have continued writing in a notebook or something as it’s really hard to write about it retrospectively and capture all the events, emotions, ups and downs. So basically, this is going to be a condensed version of events. To cut a long story short, I am now officially a Mama! Which is bittersweet to be honest. If you’ve read my previous post “Praying for a miracle” you will understand that I was carrying twins and know of the complications I had. As I was told, but I didn’t want to accept, my little boy didn’t make it.

Wedding WOWs

As you know I've been getting into my research into all things weddings and it has gone into over-drive now that I'm on maternity leave and have a lot more time on my hands. My laptop, iPhone and my fiance's PC are starting to resemble a digital wedding art gallery with all the images I keep saving.

I thought I'd start sharing some of the lovely things I find on a regular basis in posts that I'll call 'Wedding Wows'. To kick-start I'll share my new obsession with bridal accessories. 

Now, I'm a big accessory lover anyway. I'm never ever seen without a pair of earrings on, even when indoors I feel naked without my earrings! A whole section of my wardrobe is dedicated to scarves, belts, bags and have a good selection of jewellery to compliment most outfits. Hopefully this gives you an idea of my affinity with accessories and therefore my excitement about the world of bridal accessories that I'm discovering. From shoes to jewellery to little extras to add to your dress to make it completely unique to you. I am hooked and finding new stuff all the time. 

My problem now is going to be choosing which accessories to have! With all the beautiful things I keep finding I could end up looking like a bridal Christmas tree (haha!). I will have to rein myself in and keep things to a minimum to make sure I get the elegant, graceful bridal look I'm going for, but hey I can have fun trawling through all the trinkets and treasures for now :-)

Click read more to feast your eyes on these little pretties and more...

Check out the detail on the heels - Gorgeous Harriet Wilde Shoes

Maternity moanings

Source: Google Images

I haven’t blogged for a while now and a lot has happened in the space of a few weeks! More related to pregnancy rather than the wedding but a lot all the same. I’m still desperately searching for a wedding venue and will update you on that in my next post. Today I feel like having a mini rant/moan about the raft of pregnancy ailments, symptoms, niggles that I’ve been bombarded with one after another. Or actually sometimes all at once! Going to and from work was starting to be a
real chore and frankly exhausting. Battling with 3 changes on the tube and train, not getting a seat (even with my baby on board badge on!), and the general slog of being in a manic office was just way too much for me and the Bambinoes. So maternity leave started last week, which was a
huge relief and weight off my shoulders. Time to put my feet up, relax, get my last few baby buys in and get organised before the Bambis come. Or so I thought! I basically thought things would be more manageable and plane-sailing from here on in. How wrong was I!!! So young, so naive! Although I am able to relax a little more, all these new symptoms have started just as I planned to kick back and chill. I’m actually more uncomfortable and irritated now than ever. I can’t sleep, I can’t walk too far, I can’t stand or sit for too long. I’m pretty much house bound! The sporadic back pains I’ve been getting are just ridiculous! It started off just in the night but now happens every few hours. The only comfortable position I’ve found is going on all fours like a cat to relieve the pressure and weight off my back. Oh joy.

Amongst other things my bump is now huge! And the twins seem to be playing a game called “How far can we stretch Mummy”. One moves to one side of my stomach and the other pulls in completely the opposite direction creating a very stretched and mis-shaped mama! It’s not painful, just sooo uncomfortable. My stomach just feels unbelievably tight, almost like when you have a balloon and you squeeze it and it’s ready to pop. That’s me!! On top of that I’ve got excess fluid in there (a higher level than I should for 31 weeks) so that’s adding to my discomfort and size.

Guess what..... I'm a wife!!

Don't panic....... I didn’t get fed up of wedding planning, run away to Las Vegas with my fiancé and elope! Although the thought is tempting (he he). I had a traditional Nigerian Introduction and Engagement ceremony last week Saturday. A minibus filled with my fiances family travelled up the motorway from London to Birmingham to formally ask my mum and family for my hand in marriage! In Nigerian culture that now makes me officially his wife! So there you have it, although under English law we are not married, another culture/country now recognises me as his wife. How exciting! Being from a Jamaican background, I have never experienced anything like this in our culture. As far as I’m aware we don’t have any formal traditions or ceremonies that we follow for engagements or weddings. We have adopted the traditional English way of doing things. There’s nothing wrong with that but it’s nice to be able to do something that reflects my African heritage as well and this was very important for my fiancé and his Yoruba family. We weren't sure how this particular event would work as it’s usually done with two Nigerian families not a mixed culture relationship. But between the Hostess/MC (called an Alaga) and using my fiancés uncle as a translator the proceedings were successfully relayed to my family which made for a lively and entertaining ceremony for all. It wasn't a lavish affair, it was a simple family only ceremony held in a marquee in my Nan's back garden. It was perfect. It was kinda how I would have liked my wedding - really intimate and personal, with my loved ones around me. My family totally enjoyed themselves - the singing, the dancing, the laughter, the food......everything! 

It really has got everyone so excited for the big day next year!! We are still waiting for our ‘proper’ pictures and video but here are a few below:

Countdown..... 16 months to go

Image source: flickr.com

So we have a date! Whoop whoop. We are planning to do the big day in August 2013, which gives me 16 months to have my babies, get used to being a mum and plan the carnival (ahem *clears throat*).... I mean wedding. Easy! It does seem like a long way away right now but I’ve been told that time has a funny way of biting you in the butt when you get too nonchalant about things. So I haven’t rested on my laurels I’ve done as much as I can at this stage being in my condition, which by the way is basically me turning into a human size penguin that can’t stand, walk or sit for long periods of time without either getting stuck or getting serious pelvic and back pain. Fun times! I’ve written the all important to-do list which consists of no less than 68 things to complete between now and then! Woaaah!

My Twins - Praying for a miracle

I started my blog around 3 weeks ago now and everything I’ve written so far has come so naturally to me. I literally sit on the tube or train on my way to work with my iPhone and it all just pours out into my Notes app. However, this post has been the most difficult to write. I’ve started and stopped so many times. I’ve erased everything and started from scratch so I’m hoping this time around I can complete it. I guess you can say that this blog was started as a type of 'therapy' for me, to keep my mind off this situation and to keep me busy. It has worked so far but after speaking to a good friend of mine I realise that opening up about this and expressing how I’m really feeling would actually be really beneficial to me. Here goes....

My Big Fat Nigerian Wedding!

Image source: Google.com

Size doesn’t matter. How many times have we heard that phrase? It applies to so many different situations but for planning and arranging a wedding I have to disagree! The size dictates everything. The size makes a lot of decisions for you and eliminates a mass of options. The size can blow the whole budget! So here in a nutshell lies my dilemma. Or not so much a dilemma, the reality of the situation. I come from a Jamaican family, BUT my Fiancé = Nigerian, therefore, wedding = HUGE! There goes my dream of a medium sized wedding in a beautiful setting, surrounded by my nearest and dearest of maybe around 200 people, a delicious sit-down meal of African-Caribbean cuisine. You know, the type of wedding where there’s lots of attention to detail and the smaller unique things that make the day special. Instead of planning the intimate, personal wedding I dreamed of, I’m planning a wedding for 700-800 guests, majority of which I probably won’t even know (pauses to take a big sigh of exasperation!)

Model behaviour at the Mahogany Bridal Show

Wedding season is well and truly upon us. With the wonders of spring also comes the blossoming, blooming brides-to-be looking for the perfect elements to complete their special days. With a host of wedding shows and fairs popping up, there are more than enough sources of inspiration to keep me busy over the next few months. But there was one in particular that caught my eye that I had to go to. Last Sunday, I went to my first wedding fair, the Mahogany Bridal Show 2012. With my Mum, Aunty and Cousin (little fashionista in training!) in tow, we set off for a fun day out to gather ideas and meet the ‘best of the best’ African-Caribbean suppliers in London. I think that was the key for me. It was a show aimed at people that looked like me and understood my cultural background and the sorts of things a Caribbean/Nigerian wedding like mine would need. Billed as the largest African Caribbean bridal fashion show in Europe, I had really high expectations for the exhibitors, the fashion show....everything really. The show held at Holiday Inn Bloomsbury was buzzing with other brides with their family and friends, trying to work their way round the handful of exhibitors showcasing their skills and wares. But to be completely honest...